the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize