I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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