I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
