Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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