I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
