i need an iv and a liver transplant
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
