Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
