I think I just saw someone hide a body.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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