Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
