My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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