Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
