Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
