I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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