She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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