Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
