4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
