and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
