seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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