Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
