i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
