there's paper in my vomit.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
