your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
