You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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