I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
