I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
two words...techno handjob
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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