Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
