Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
