Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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