Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize