What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
