Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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