i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
