Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
