You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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