The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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