Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
