i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
