we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
