Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
