Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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