I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
