yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
