yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
