Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
