he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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