When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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