i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
