What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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