our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
