I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize