Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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