dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
