Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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