3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If that was your dad, he is hot
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
