So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Randomize
