I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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