ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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